I am writing today about how different we all are as Mothers and how that really should just be ok. I am finding, in my experience, that people don't seem to have a problem telling me what or how to do something in terms of mothering my child. They give me their bossy opinions when I don't ask for them and they continue to tell me what I seem to be doing wrong. I find this all so interesting and of course bothersome, yet I want to make peace with it so I don't have to continue getting upset. I am a very PROUD attachment parent. I, as well as my husband, am in agreement with how we are raising our son. That is all that matters to me. Everyone else can raise their children however they choose to and you don't ever have to worry about me judging or throwing in my 2 cents about how you're doing it. So, I ask that you do the same for me. It doesn't seem to be enough that I feel completely confident and grounded in my decisions or my mothering style. I used to think that's why people felt they could say the things they did. They found a weakness and wanted to play on that. Well, I definitely don't feel weak and I definitely love the love in our home and the product of all of our choices, our beautiful son. We are all doing our best to figure things out daily in taking care of our children, our partner, and ourselves. I am sharing this because I want you to believe in yourself and know that other people who question what you are doing, especially when it's based in Love and your motherly instinct, are coming from a place that you don't have to accept. Just smile and say, "It's working for us" or "Thank you for sharing." Don't doubt yourself and try not to let it aggravate you as I have let it aggravate me. I am letting go of that and moving on. I love being a mom and my husband is a wonderful father. We are so happy and confident in our parenting style. Our son is such proof that it is all working out over here. He is a pure, sweet, kind, generous, independent and happy boy. That is once again, all that matters to me. Have a beautiful day!
Well, that morning took place here one day and continues occurring daily in our home now. My husband, and I love him so much, was one of those men who had somewhat of a difficult time really embracing being a father, the reality of our life and how much it changed once having our son. We struggled quite a bit for the first several months because of that. I was so in love with our son and so committed (still am) and so tired of course. I just wanted to do the best I could every day and wanted my husband to support me and at the very least, understand and not give me a hard time about the way things had changed. I would've been happy with him simply accepting our reality. That would've been enough.
I am so amazed at how much more he has exceeded my hopes and expectations as the father I knew he could be. I do believe it was one morning that I first saw it, just like in the movie. It all just connected for him and he was so into our son and so supportive of me. He truly is wonderful and the most incredible father and husband. Being pregnant, I have been so fatigued and it's been challenging doing everything that I was used to doing before. He not only changes diapers, helps out with our precious dog, Savvy, assists me around the house, etc. He now takes Pierce for walks, plays with him, reads to him, took him on his first man date out to lunch and so much more. There are just so many little things that I can't believe every day. He's such a natural.
I am just so lucky and so happy and so in love with my family. I knew he was the man I wanted to marry and I knew he would be the father I wanted for our children. It took a little time for him to adjust but, as I said, he has done so much more than that. I melt every day watching them and I am just so grateful for all of this. With our new son arriving in December, we are both so excited. Everything is going so well and both of our boys are so healthy and strong. Thank you Family Man for all that you do, for all of your love and support, and for being the man you are. I am so proud of you and I love you so much.
Well, with all of the questions and doubts and adjustments, our family has found our sleeping solution! As I mentioned previously, we were doing the whole "other room" thing and my husband and I weren't sleeping together as I was sleeping with my son. We were going to try the "daddy calms him in the middle of the night in his crib" approach but that didn't exactly work. Not because we tried and failed, but rather because we just all wanted to be together and it didn't feel right putting Pierce in a room across the house. So, we gave it a shot and Pierce went to sleep with us in our bed a couple of weeks ago. He's been so happy and sleeping so well and Dana and I are so happy also. We all get to be together, everyone is getting proper rest, and we say every night how special it is that we can all be so close. I am so lucky to have a husband who is supportive and in love with our son as I am. He supports this whole attachment parenting philosophy that I am practicing and he is a wonderful attachment parent as well. It's so interesting how much you go through before you find what really works. You doubt yourself along the way, you have disagreements, you stand for what you believe in, you realize you share the same views and then you find your path. We have found ours after various trials and I am so grateful and enjoying every second with my family. Pierce wakes up every morning and puts his head on my belly and says, "Baaaaaabbbbbyyyyy!" It is too precious and the smile on his face and all of our faces in the morning definitely remind us that we have found what works for our family. Just as I've said about trusting your instincts regarding breastfeeding, I feel the same about your family and your sleeping situation. If the crib works and you are all happy… excellent. If you can all share a family bed comfortably… fabulous! I told Dana that since we found out we are having another boy, I don't need to start all over with pink and green baby stuff and we'll save a lot of money. Sooooooooo, my new request simply is an extra large (if there is anything out there larger than a king) bed to accommodate our growing family. Ahhhh.... isn’t life sweet? Happy 4th all and enjoy your holiday weekend!
Babywearing:
